I received some bad, but not completely shocking news. I was instantly angry. I decided that I needed to pray about it immediately because I couldn't let me heart continue to feel this way. So I laid my head down for bed and tried to pray. I say tried because I was so angry right then I couldn't come up with the words. My head and heart were tangled up in these angry, outraged, bitter thoughts. All I could muster up was, "I don't understand God, I never will."
The next day, I woke up with the same feelings. I still felt lost for words. My mind was consumed, along with my heart. I was angry because of love. I know that sounds ridiculous, angry and love don't go hand in hand. But my anger stemmed from the love I have for this situation.
Finally on Sunday morning, I woke up with a more clear heart and head. I knew the whole weekend that being angry wasn't doing any good, I just couldn't find any other emotion to fill. But Sunday morning, I was relieved to an extent. I was able to pray, I was able to just talk with God.
I don't know if you have ever felt this way; If not, then I rejoice for you. If you have, I empathize. It leaves you feeling almost empty. But I want you to know that God understands! He sees through the anger, fury, resentful feelings. And He is there ready to embrace you and take it all away. I'm not saying that it's easy or that you have instant relief; but He's got your back, ALWAYS!
For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
~ Matthew 6:14-15
Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
~ Ephesians 4:31-32
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